An Open Letter | Dwarfism Awareness Day 2021
Dwarfism Awareness Day, October 25, 2021
Dear Friend,
Today is Dwarfism Awareness Day. I have a lot to tell you but before we get there I need to tell you a little bit of my journey as dad to Liberty, my daughter.
This year I have learned a lot. If I were to type it all out I would surely reach the character limit for a single post on instagram and facebook. I have struggled, I have cried, I have seen success, I have learned. I have seen new depths to my flaws and seen new heights of joy.
For months something has been brewing inside me. Not words, some feelings, but mostly understanding. Steeped in love for my daughter, a deeper understanding of my God-given role as her dad has become clearer. You see, friend, on Dwarfism Awareness Day 2019 I probably would have described my outlook as optimistic. I thought the world around me just needed to learn about my little girl and the seemingly minor adjustments to help her belong in this world she was born into. Back then I thought that surely, the world would see her humanhood and the beauty of her design. They would embrace her, care for her, welcome her, and include her as their own. I was so optimistic.
I was also so naïve. Flash forward to Dwarfism Awareness Day 2020 and my optimism was substituted with confusion. Why did people I love, people who are ignorant to Liberty’s needs, choose ignorance to her needs? Why did this hurt so much? Why did they get to make choices that compromise her? She was born and designed this way, they get to choose, why is it allowed that their choice gets to infringe on her needs? Why does their liberty get to infringe on Liberty’s liberty?
“Why does their liberty get to infringe on Liberty’s liberty?”
Not only do I carry the God-given responsibility of this not-average reality, but my family has to live with the consequences of those who don’t engage in what is best for my daughter. I was confused. Why don’t they get to live with the consequences of their actions while they carry on as “normal” and perpetuate the very thing that shoves my family to the margins? I’ll admit, being ushered to the margins was confusing to me.
Now there was a lot swirling around in October 2020. There was the global pandemic - that is still going I might add - and the politicization of responses that dehumanized people in the process. Watching black humans unjustly die on our smartphones caused all sorts of civil unrest that challenged generations of systemic oppression. Finally, our country was forced to choose between two bad options for who would lead us; and we allowed ourselves to divide over it. I’m sure it was as messy for you as it was for us.
But I have good news as we snap to the present. Today, Dwarfism Awareness Day 2021, I’m far more content. The pendulums of optimism and confusion have settled a bit. You see, my friend, I’ve used every bit of rhetoric to try to change the world but I realized something. God sovereignly gave Libby to us and thus, we need to be good stewards of that responsibility. It means a lot of things but in our home we hope to facilitate a world where she is protected and safe while also challenging her to interact with grace and integrity towards a world that ignores her.
Once I focused on the things I could change, namely the things in my home, the burden to change the world was released. I realized I was taking on a responsibility that wasn’t mine. Every person who marginalizes her for their own comfort is going to have to give an account for why they thought that was okay. Every person who turns a blind eye to her struggle, or redefines their contribution to her struggle to be more palatable, is responsible before God.
So, my friend, I want to leave you with a challenge. We all have implicit biases. They are often uncomfortable to discover as they usually challenge significant portions of ourselves that have existed for a long time. We often protect ourselves from the uncomfortable discovery of implicit biases by carving out our little social bubbles consisting of friendships, systems, and ideas that protect our little bubble rather than challenge it. And I totally get it, it’s uncomfortable to be, well, uncomfortable.
Friend, you’ve made it far into my rambling letter. I hope you don’t miss this final piece. I hope you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Please don’t simply seek discomfort for the sake of discomfort. In this case, I pray you will listen to people around you. Let their stories become part of your reality. Be willing to lay down the protection of your bubble for the sake of togetherness. Welcome the burdens of others with gladness and protect one another, knowing that in doing so you are transitioning from “me” and “them” type thinking to “us”. Join in one another’s struggles and let that vulnerability expand your understanding of reality. You’ll be better for it!
“My friend, imagine a future world you help build where our Liberty is not only included but a world where she belongs!”
My friend, imagine a future world you help build where our Liberty is not only included but a world where she belongs! Today, her struggle is just to be included, but tomorrow, maybe she’ll belong. Join me in this dream on Dwarfism Awareness Day 2021!
I hope all is well with you,
I look forward to catching up soon,
Signed,
Your friend, a Dad praying for a future where his daughter belongs